


Nobody Needs to Know

by James_Ancalime



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Depression, Heavy Angst, Hijack, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 09:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2463245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/James_Ancalime/pseuds/James_Ancalime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No relationships are etched in stone. They are crafted through the situations that brought them together, and tore them apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are often required to lead a life of happiness, or they are the gilded gateway to a life of pure torture.

“YOU DID WHAT!?” Astrid screamed.

“Shh, don’t talk so loud,” Jack replied looking nervously at the people at the far end of the nearly empty school hall.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO BE QUIET YOU ASSHAT!” Astrid retorted, punching Jack in the shoulder with significant force, “WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?”

Jack rubbed his shoulder, wincing and said, “I don’t know, I wasn’t in my right mind. Please Astrid stop yelling at me! I told you because I thought you’d help me.”

“HELP YOU, **HELP YOU**! GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU JACK OVERLAND FROST, YOU ARE SO STUPID! YOU FUCKING DESERVE TO BE YELLED AT!”

“I know, I’m sorry! But I don’t know what to do, please Astrid Im begging you!”

“That’s not going to help! What do you think if you beg me I can erase what you did! NO! NOTHING CAN! You are a complete dumbass Jack and you better hope and pray nothing comes out of this.”

Jack leaned against the lockers and slid down to the floor. He hugged his knee’s and began sobbing, “I know *hic* but I’m so confused. *hic* What do I even do?”

“I don’t know Jack, I really don’t,” Astrid replied in a softer tone. “What are you going to say to the rest of our friends? You have to tell them.”

Shaking his head vehemently, Jack responded “NO! *hic* I’m not telling *hic* anyone else. *hic* Nobody needs to know. *hic* Please Astrid, maybe *hic* it’ll all blow over!”

“WHAT THE FUCK JACK! You can’t just lie to our friends. Some of them think that the world revolves around you, and you’re just going to keep them in the dark!?”

“I have to *hic* Astrid! I can’t *hic* have this getting around the *hic* school!”

“That’s cruel and wrong. You’re an asshole and I hope you know that. I really hope this whole thing blows over, for her sake. But I know it’s just going to blow up in your face.” Astrid said definitively slamming her locker shut, and leaving behind her sobbing ex-friend.

Hiccup sat in his history class not paying a lick of attention. He was doodling in his notebook and thinking about what he planned to do during the next class.

He was so lost in his thoughts (and in his very private and personal doodles) that he didn’t hear his teacher call his name.

“HICCUP!” Mr.Annalis screamed.

Jolting back into reality, Hiccup dropped his pen and immediately said “42!”

“What?”

“I’m sorry sir. I kinda zoned out and I guess my subconscious decided that the answer to your question was 42. How close was I?”

Mr.Annalis placed his hand on his forehead and said, “Hiccup, class is over. I’m trying to get you to leave my classroom, now get your stuff and go to your next class.”

Hiccup glanced around the empty classroom and then at the clock on the wall. Realizing he only had 3 minutes to get to his next class, he jumped out of his seat and grabbed his things then sprinted out of the room.

He made it into his English class with about a minute to spare. He waved to his favorite teacher, Mrs. Cowell, and went to his usual table, plopping himself down next to Astrid.

“What’s wrong? You look like you just ate an eel.” Astrid said concern evident in her voice.

“I’m going to do something stupid and I’m a little nervous.” he replied feeling his stomach roll.

The bell rang and Mrs. Cowell called the class to attention and began to teach about the importance of literature in everyday life.

Astrid pulled out a piece of paper, wrote on it, and then passed it to hiccup.

**What are you going to do?**

_Do you see the boy two tables in front of us?_ He replied, sliding the paper back to Astrid.

**You mean Asshole**

_No not Snotlout the one next to him._

**You mean deranged asshole?**

_NO! not Dagur, on the other side of snotlout._

**Oh, you mean the biggest fucking dumbass in the history of history.**

_What!? I thought you liked Jack, we’ve hung out with him a lot._

**Key word, LIKED, past tense. He’s a dumbass and you need to stay away from him. He’ll only wreck your life and then disappear and expect you to deal with it on your own.**

_What happened?_

**NOTHING! I’m not allowed to tell you, just leave it be.**

_Okay fine, be a bitch. I was going to tell you but now I’m not._

**HICCUP!!!!! Come on tell me, I wanna know. Whenever you do something stupid im always the one to bail you out, so I kinda need to know how stupid this plan is, will I need to bring the battle axe?**

_No_

**Then what is it?**

_I’m going to ask Jack out on a date at the end of class._

**HICCUP NO!**

_Why not!?_

**NO, I FUCKING FORBID IT!**

_Since when did I ever listen to you!_

**Hiccup please don’t do it. You’ll only bring yourself pain.**

_Come on Astrid it’s me. Pain, LOVE IT! Do I need to remind you of my leg?_

**HICCUPS JUST DON’T DO IT YOURE BEING STUPID!**

_No you’re being stupid, and quire mean. Why can’t I ask him out, I’ve had a crush on him all year?_

**I CANT TELL YOU. Hiccups please just don’t.**

_FINE, if you won’t tell me then I’m not going to listen to you._

He shoved the paper away and refused to look at Astrid. She was just jealous and he knew it.

Hiccup waited until the lunch bell rang and then jumped up and ran over to Jack’s table. Astrid hurtled the table and attempted to catch Hiccup, but wasn’t fast enough.

Hiccup tapped Jack on the shoulder and began to ask but stopped, “Will yo- … Jack, what’s wrong?” The white haired boy’s face was streaked and his eyes were red. He’d evidently been crying, hard. _“But why would Jack Frost ever cry”_ Hiccup thought.

“Oh, Hey Hiccup. I’m fine it’s nothing. What’d you want,” Jack asked wiping his face.

“Jack it’s okay you can tell me. Astrid was saying that someth-” Hiccup was cut off as Jack’s eyes widened and Jack whirled to face Astrid who had come up behind him.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE!” Jack screamed at Astrid.

Astrid went red in the face and began yelling back, “I DIDN’T TELL HIM ANYTHING! BUT I FUCKING SHOULD, YOU WANNA KNOW WHY HE EVEN CAME OVER HERE TO TALK TO YOU!? I FUCKING DOUBT IT BECAUSE YOURE TOO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR OWN GODDAMN ISSUES YOU DON’T EVEN CARE HOW WHAT YOU DO AFFECT THE REST OF US!”

Hiccup turned beet red and said “Astrid this may not be the best time to say-” but he was cut off.

“Hiccup shut up. You sit here and let the rest of us be concerned for you and you don’t even give a damn. All you care about is your fucking reputation and it makes me sick. So go ahead ruin another friendship, you ruined this one!” tears welled up in Astrid’s eyes as she stormed out of the classroom.

Jack looked as if someone had stabbed him in the chest, and he sat down with tears streaming down his face. Hiccup stooped down to talk to Jack, and said “Jack what is all this about? Maybe I can help you, I promise it’s not as bad as you think it is.”

Jack simply shook his head, “Hiccup I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, but nobody needs to know.”

“But why Jack, I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want the school to find out; I don’t want anyone to think less of me.”

Hiccup stood up and felt himself begin to cry. He shook his head and said “FINE! You know what Astrid is right you’re just a narcissistic asshole. I was going to ask you out but now I don’t want you to ever talk to me again. Why can’t you trust me Jack, I was fucking in love with you and you ruined it. I hope nobody finds out your precious secret.” He felt the tears streaming down his face as he ran from the classroom.

Jack felt his world collapsing around him. He never thought one night could ruin his life so thoroughly in such little time.

He watched as the boy he’d had a crush on for 4 years told him he’d loved him then forbade Jack to ever speak to him again. He felt his heart break as Hiccup had fled from the room with tears streaming down his face.

 Jack put his head on the desk and began to sob. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Mrs. Cowell looking down at him, concern in her eyes.

“Teenagers, such dramatic creatures,” She said, a small smile on her lips, “However, I hope you realize that I have to give you detention. Your use of curses is admirable just not in a school setting.”

Jack let his head drop and thud against the table, and thought _“When did my life get so fucking difficult.”_


	2. Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Situations can arise that challenge our nature. They make you question who you are, and what a relationship can mean to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Insinuations of rape are present in this chapter. This is in fact a major point throughout Jack's experiences from here on out, so if this bothers you then please do not continue. I can promise you that these insinuations only get worse with time.

Jack lay on his bed amidst his dirty cloths, textbooks, and trash staring at the ceiling. Over the past week he’d become an expert in his ceiling, he knew its every bump and crack

He heard the phone ring downstairs. He rolled over onto his belly and buried his face into his pillow.

Footsteps thudded up the stairs to his door. The door opened and his uncle aster stepped into his bedroom.

“North wants to see ya in the kitchen. I wouldn’t keep’m waitin.” was all he said before he left the room.

Jack rolled off his bed and stood up. Everything ached; his back, his legs, his neck, but what hurt most was his soul. He was a wreck and he knew it.

He walked down the stairs into his family’s kitchen and sat down at the table. North, Jack’s adoptive father, walked in followed by the rest of Jack’s weird family.

His adoptive father, Nick North, was a large man. He had attended a college in Russia and lived there for a few years and he still carried a slight accent. Uncle Bunny, his real name was E. Aster Bunnymund, was North’s older brother. He was tall and thin, rippling with muscle. Bunny’s wife, Toothiana, was a small woman with multicolor hair and a feisty attitude. Uncle Sandy was Aunt Tooth’s brother and he was just as spunky. He was incredibly short and rarely talked.

Jack suddenly got nervous when he saw all four of them. Rarely were all four of them together and when they were together, it meant that something serious was going on.

Looking nervously amongst the four Jack said, “so is this some kind of intervention?”

North chuckled “Well, not exactly. Do you know who that was on the phone?”

Jack shook his head.

“That vas Principal Joyce, calling for the third time this week!” North’s voice took on an angry tone.

“Oh,” was all Jack could say, he knew why Principle Joyce had called and knew he was in trouble. Yet jack found himself incapable of caring at the present time.

“He said that you skipped detention. AGAIN! Jack that’s the fourth time in the past two weeks. He says if you do it again you’ll be suspended.”

Jack just stared absentmindedly at his hands. He had known that this conversation was coming but he didn’t care anymore.

“Jack, honey, we’re worried about you,” his Aunt Toothiana asked, her voice oozing concern, “You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“I’m fine.” Jack lied. He knew how unconvincing his lie sounded, but his mind was on other things. _If only she’d call, I need to hear from her, I need to know what the test said_ Jack thought.

Bunny stepped forward and said “No you’re not Jack. You don sleep, ye skip detention, and you barely eat. You need help.”

Jack looked up at his family, confusion evident on his face. He didn’t like where this was going.

“Sandy believes that you may be suffering from serious depression,” North said, “and he recommends sending you to a psychiatrist.”

Jack didn’t care, he honestly could have seen this coming. He merely had a question. “Is Uncle Sandy going to be my therapist?”

Sandy shook his head, and North said, “No, we are trying to find you a therapist but sandy is not allowed to treat you for legal reason.”

Jack let out a sigh and asked, “Okay, con I go back to my room now?”

North cast his eyes down and said “Yes son, you can go back.”

Jack got up and left the kitchen.

Jack usually loved walking to school. The cool air was refreshing and he loved the scenery. Today he hated it.

He hated everything. He hated the school, his life, Astrid, he hated _her_ , but mostly he hated himself. He couldn’t get that night out of his mind.

God it was sickening. He tried to push it down but he couldn’t. The stench fogging up the air making it hard to breath, his sweat dripping down his face and body, the motion of it all, the noises they made, what he said so quietly she couldn’t hear him, the pleasure at the end, it was all too much.

Jack grabbed his mouth and leaned over the sidewalk and vomited. He felt terrible. Everything inside him had screamed that it was wrong. But he’d been drunk.

The thoughts began to rise anew, and he felt betrayed by his body. The memories sickened his soul and mind, yet his body became more and more excited. Here he was, gay, and being excited about relations he had with a woman.  

The thought of their bodies gliding together, slipping sliding made his bile rose. He shook his head, but was unable to get the thoughts out. As the images began to run through his mind again, but they were stopped when Jack’s phone began to ring.

He grabbed the phone and looked at the screen, biting back bile when he saw _her_ face, and answered the phone.

**What’s the verdict? He asked immediately**

_What’s this!? No hi, no hey how are you?_

**No. All I want to know is, are you or aren’t you?**

_Am I what?_

**PREGNANT! What did the test say? I’ve been waiting two weeks for this, now tell me did our one night get you pregnant1?**

_The test wasn’t necessary, I started my period today so no, I’m not pregnant. God when did you become such a bitch?_

Jack dropped the phone. He felt elevated, as if the wind had pushed up off the ground. All the colors seemed brighter, and the world looked more beautiful. He heard the muttering from his phone and picked it up in time to hear the last of _her_ sentence.

_-tonight?_

**What was that sorry, I dropped my phone? Thank God! NO BABY!**

_I asked if you wanted to come over tonight. My parents are out of town so we can do whatever._

**NO! a thousand times no. You got me drunk last time I was with you and then had sex with me.**

_Oh come on you know you liked it, I mean it was obvious._

Jack felt his bile rise as images of the night played through his mind.

**No I didn’t, the mere thought of that night has made me vomit numerous times. You gave me a drink that was a lot stronger than the one I wanted.**

_So what I got you a little drugged is- she stopped-um drunk is wha-._

**YOU WHAT!?**

_Nothing, I didn’t say anything._

**YOU FUCKING DRUGGED ME!? I THOUGHT PEOPLE ONLY DID THAT IN MOVIES! Oh my God. YOU RAPED ME!**

_A girl can’t rape a guy, it’s not possible._

**YOU DRUGGED ME THEN MADE ME HAVE SEX WHILE I WAS UNABLE TO COHERENTLY THINK. THAT IS RAPE.**

_Come on ba-_

Jack never heard the end of I _her_ sentence because as the realization that he had been taken advantage of sunk in he got immensely sick. He dropped his phone and vomited into the bushes.

He sank down onto the sidewalk and began to sob. He sobbed and hugged his knees all the while vomiting every minute or so. He lay there until he could no longer cry, and he could only dry heave.

Jack crawled onto his knees and picked up his phone. The screen was cracked and his phone was dead.

Jack got up with one thought on his mind.

 _I have to get to school. I have to tell Hiccup. I have to beg for forgiveness_.

Hiccup was putting his books in his locker when the voice he had been dreading to and wishing he could hear, sounded behind him.

“Hey Hic,” Jack said in his perfect deep voice.

Hiccup turned his eyes down and tried to pay no attention to the white headed boy.

“Hiccup please listen to me. I owe you and explanation, please hear me out. I’m sorry I was just scared that people wou-”

Hiccup slammed his locker shut, cutting Jack off. He spun on his heels and looked directly into Jack’s perfect blue eyes. They were full of shock and fear.

“That what?” Hiccup asked, “That people would think less of you, that your perfect reputation would be ruined. That nobody would love a jack Frost that goes to parties, one that gets drunk, or one that sleeps with any fucking woman who throws themselves on his eager dick.”

Hiccup could see the shock in Jacks eyes. Jack asked “H-h-how did y-you know about t-t-that?”

“The whole school knows Jack.” Hiccup said, raising his voice. “Everyone knows that you fucked some random girl at party. Don’t try to deny it! We have eye witnesses.”

The two of them had attracted an audience but neither cared, everything was between the two of them.

Jack looked at Hiccup with tears streaming from his eyes and said “Hic im in love with you. I have been for the longest time now. I promise it wasn’t like that. Hic please give me a chance. I lov-”

Hiccup cut him off, very aware of the tears that were running down his cheeks. “Jack save it, I don’t want to hear that. I don’t want your excuses.”

“Hic I love you!”

“STOP THAT! Leave me alone, I never want to see your face again.”

Hiccup turned to walk away and heard jack say, “Please Hiccup I just need you to believe me!”

Hiccup spun around and began to shout at the white haired teen, disregarding the violent sobs that were racking his body, “BELIEVE YOU! WELL I DON’T! I would have before, Hell Jack I used to believe **_IN_** you but now your nothing. You’re a liar and a cheat, and you deserve everything that’s coming to you. I never EVER want to see you again. Leave me alone, if you don’t I’m getting a restraining order. Goodbye Jack.”

Hiccup turned and ran, tears soaking his face and sobs jolting his body. His sobs were still not loud enough to drown those of the boy behind him. The boy whose heart he’d shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, posted part two. Now to post the others that are already done. I hope you liked it, as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Also each chapter of this Fic will end up on my tumblr before I post it here.  
> Also, sorry for the choppiness, this Fic is designed for a Tumblr post, not for these long sentences.


	3. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People who care want to help, yet it is hard to judge the world by merely titles alone.

The blankness of the room would've scared Jack if he’d been able to feel. No art adorned the walls, no vivid colors. Everything was just a dull shade of gray. Rows of black chairs filled the room, and the air was stagnant and cold. It felt more like a cemetery than the waiting room of the therapist Jack’s family had paid so much to see him.

Jack sat in one of the hard black chairs and stared blankly at a magazine cover. He noticed how dead all of the models eyes looked, as if none of them had wanted their lives to lead to this point.

Jack felt a pang of sympathy for them and the images of that night started to play through his head.

He bit back his bile and willed himself to think of something else, but the only thing that seemed to stay in his mind was Hiccup.

His little Hiccup, his friend, his crush, and now his worst nightmare. Images from two weeks ago began to spin through his head. The day he’d found out the truth of what had happened with _her_ and the day he’d lost Hiccup forever. Not a day he liked to replay, but one that he’d lived thousands of times now as his mind fixated on it.

How much Hiccup must hate him now. The pain that had been in his eyes was terrible, and real. Hiccups disgusted face swam through his head and Jack could only think of how disgusted he was with himself.

Jack felt tears well up when he replayed their last conversation.

_God, why had I been so stupid!_ Jack thought. He should have known better than to take that drink. He shouldn't have even gone to that stupid party in the first place.

_THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!_

Jack began to cry silently. He had brought all this pain and heartbreak on himself. He was he only one at fault. He was being punished for being such an idiot and Jack knew that he deserved it.

He began hugging his stomach hoping to make the pain stop when the door at the far corner of the room opened.  A tall woman with auburn hair stood in the doorway and said, “Jack if you’ll please come with me. I’ll take you to meet your therapist now.”

Jack stood up wiping his cheeks and said, “Yeah, *sniff* okay.”

He was led through a labyrinth of hallways ending in a small dark room. The woman said, “He’ll be with you shortly. Take a seat.” She turned and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

The room was very dimly lit, making it difficult to make things out. It didn’t help that everything in the room was either black or a very dark gray. His eyes adjusting to the low lighting Jack was able to make out that the walls were covered in M.C. Escher-esque paintings. Staircases warping and going nowhere and random bridges without entrances or exits. Staring at the walls was like looking at an impossible maze that was infinite in its complexity.

A large birdcage hung in the corner. It was made of a rusted dark heavy looking metal and seemed to have never been used.

On the desk there was a metal glob that had no oceans, just emptiness where the water should be. Small gems that glowed yellow in the dim light marked national capitols and other important cities.

The furniture seemed as if it had been made entirely out of solid black sand. It glittered and glistened in oddly menacing ways whenever Jack moved around. He sat down on the small sofa and began to wait.

Within minutes of Jack sitting down the door opened and a tall slim man entered. He went and sat down behind the desk and began tapping way at the sleek black computer that stood there.

The man seemed to radiate darkness, as if the little light around him was being absorbed by him. His clothes were differing shades of black and looked incredibly elegant. His skin was ashen and his eyes were a deep yellow that bored through Jack and seemed to rip open his mind and remove all his secrets.

“So you’re Jack Frost?” the man asked in a voice that seemed to radiate from every atom in the immediate area. It was as if jack had thought what he said instead of hearing it.

Jack answered, “Yes sir I am.” Shivers ran up the length of Jack’s spine as a nameless fear set in.

The man smiled showing crooked teeth and replied, “I’m your psychiatrist, my name is Dr. Pitchiner; however, you may call me Pitch.”

Hiccup hated hallways. He never would have thought that hating a necessary element to any buildings architectural design was possible, yet he detested hallways with every fiber of his being. School hallways were the worst of all. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes would always drift as he walked through them. They would always drift to the shock of white hair that passed him, or walked through a classroom doorway.

God, he hated him.

That silver headed slut, the one person Hiccup had ever truly had a crush on, never seemed to leave his mind. As soon as he’d forget about him, forget the pain, the heartbreak, the loss, Hiccup would catch a glimpse of him or think about something he’d said in his perfect voice. It was like ripping open a wound every time it managed to close.

Hiccup thought about this as he sat there waiting for the final bell of the day to ring. He doodled in his notes absentmindedly as he listened to the teacher.

When the bell finally rang Hiccup looked at what he had been doodling; it was a small picture of _him_. Hiccup had drawn him so much in the previous weeks that he could do it from memory.

A pang of disgust and guilt ripped through him as he tore the page out from his notebook, crumpled it up and hurled it in the trash can. He grabbed his book bag and threw it over his shoulder and yanked his remaining supplies off his desk and spun on his heels heading for the door.

“Mr. Haddock would you please come back in, I need to speak with you.” He heard his teacher say as he passed through the doorway.

Sighing, Hiccup turned around and trudged back into the classroom. “Yes ma’am what is it?” he asked.

Mrs. Cowell, without taking her eyes off of her computer, pointed to a desk near her and said “Sit.”

Hiccup dropped his stuff on the floor next to the desk and sat down, “Okay I sat down. Can I go now?”

Turning from her computer she faced him and interlaced her fingers, “What’s going on, tell me what’s been bothering you.”

“What makes you think something’s wrong with me?” Hiccup asked slightly offended.

“You don’t pay attention in class anymore. You have bags under your eyes that put most of us middle aged women’s to shame. You have been dressing, well rather sloppily for the past few days. You have stopped doing your homework, your grade is dropping, and the few writing that you have been turning in, let’s keep what I say next between the two of us, have been complete and total shit. Now all of those things together generally equal a problem. Is it something going on at your home?”

“NO! Nothing’s wrong at my house, and who gave you the right to just analyze my life. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Is it relationship problems? I understand that it is none of my business but I would like to know if there is anything that I can do to help.”

“Oh my God! I would need to have been in a relationship to have relationship problems. Now can I please go home, I don’t want to sit here and play the _What’s wrong with Hiccup_ game with you.”

“Is it about what happened between you and Jack?”

Hiccup looked up and stared at her. Her face was full of concern, yet a knowing expression was on it as if she already knew the answer. He began to tear up and looked away attempting to reign in his emotions.

He felt tears stream down his face and he turned and looked at Mrs. Cowell and said, “Okay, fine! Yes. I’m still upset about what happened with me and Jack. I was in love with him and he turned out to be some huge whore who goes and has sex with random people. But that’s not the worst part about all of this, the worst part is the fact that he lied to me. He told me that he thought flippantly having sex was stupid, and that you should only do it with someone you were sure you loved. Not to mention the fact that he told me he was gay, and then he goes and effs some girl.”

 “Do you feel better?”

“No,” Hiccup admitted as he wiped tears from his face, “I just thought he was a better person. When I asked what had happened he wanted to keep it his little secret, so his perfect reputation wouldn’t be ruined. He cared more about how other people saw him than how he treated his friends.”

“Well do you want my advice?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“You need to move on. Jack wasn’t the person you thought he was or the person that he claimed to be. Find something new. Distract yourself from him and I promise that you’ll move on. Now I have to finish reading these paper, but if you ever need any help tell me. Okay?”

“Yes ma’am. Thank you for listening.” Hiccup said as he stood up and wiped his face one last time.

He gathered up his things and left the classroom. The hallway was empty. He went to his locker and began to swap the books he was carrying for the ones he’d need to do his homework. He closed his locker door and was greeted by a face he didn’t expect.

“Hey Hiccup, why you here so late?” Dagur said with a raised eyebrow and his ever present smirk.

“Hiccup grabbed his things and began to walk away saying, “I had a meeting with a teacher. Now please leave me alone Dagur.”

Dagur ran up beside him and began walking backwards so he could talk to Hiccup, “Oh come on Hiccup. Don’t be that way. I just wanted to ask you something. Come on, please Hiccup.”

Hiccup stopped and looked at Dagur. “Fine, what is it?”

Dagur started as if he hadn’t expected his plan to get this far. Quickly regaining his composure Dagur shoved his hands in his pockets and asked, “Well I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out on a date tonight. I know this really awesome gay club that’ll let us in.”

“What! N-,” Hiccup began, but what Mrs. Cowell had said earlier ran through his mind. _You need to move on . . . Find something new_. He looked at Dagur and thought, _well he definitely is something new, and who knows maybe I’ll have fun. What harm could one date bring_?

“You know what, Yeah. I’d love to.”

“Wait, really!?” Dagur asked, his shock evident.

“Yeah, it’s a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3, POSTED! Hell yeah. Feedback is always loved and wanted. Hope you guys are having fun reading this, it only gets better from here.


	4. Clubs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choices are often made so that we may cope with our lives, but what outcome do these choices have.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Hiccup asked himself as he stood in his room staring at himself in the full length mirror on his closet door.

_I don’t even know what to wear to a club. What do people wear to clubs!? Leather? Chains?_

 Hiccup’s mind raced as he stood their attempting to figure out what he wanted to wear. It was almost impossible to discern. He sifted through his closet and pulled various articles of clothing out throwing them onto his bed. Once he had amassed a small mountain of clothing he turned from his closet and assessed his pile. He walked around his bed viewing it from every angle.

After what felt like hours Hiccup started to sort the pile into various outfits, ranging from faux classy to downright trashy.

_What the fuck, why is this so difficult? It doesn’t make sense._

Hiccup put on his tan corduroy skinny jeans and searched for a shirt to match. He pulled a blue hoodie from the top of his bed and threw it on him. He turned and looked at himself in the mirror. The pants fit him pretty well, accentuating the small amount of butt he had. He looked at himself fully and felt his breath catch.

_What…why would I even do this._

He ripped the hoodie off as the tears welled in his eyes. It was old, but it was Jack’s. He’d left it after hanging out with Hiccup and Astrid one day. Hiccup threw the hoodie as far away from him as he could. Hating every stich and fiber that it was made of. He sunk to the floor and hugged his knees.

_You have to stop this,_ he thought, _Jack is an asshole. He lied and…gods just leave it alone. C’mon Hiccup pull yourself together. You have a date tonight. No use in being caught up in that whore._

Hiccup stood up and walked over to the hoodie. He picked it up and shoved it into his trash can, pushing it as far down as it could go.

Slamming the lid to the trash Hiccup took a breath and looked at the pile of clothes on his bed. He shimmed out of his jeans and searched for a new outfit.

_I’ll go Hipster, it’ll be better than anything else I have._

Hiccup pulled on dark skinny jeans that lightened around his knees. Throwing a black V-neck tee on over that. He went over to his bedside table and pulled out his screaming demon neckless, a gift from Astrid that was supposed to remind him of their shared Viking heritage. He went and pull on his brown leather boots, lacing them up with extra attention so that they’d look good. He pulled a red and black flannel from his bed and threw it on, rolling up the sleeves so that he could freely move his elbows. Finally he pulled on his black beanie, situating it so that it sat on the back of his head yet still kept his long swooping hair out of his eyes.

He turned and stared at himself in the mirror. Adjusting random parts of his outfit but in total being incredibly pleased with the way it looked. He studied himself for a few more seconds, making sure he looked perfect and then grabbed his phone and wallet and headed downstairs.

He sat down in the living room and waited. Dagur had said he’d pick him up at 8:30. Hiccup glanced at his bulky watch, and saw that it was already 8:23.Letting out a gasp of relief hiccup praised his own skills of quick dressing.

Hiccup waited, and waited, and waited some more. Filling up the time by playing a dragon game on his phone that he loved. 8:30 came and went and there was no sign of Dagur.

Hiccup got up and began to pace around the living room, suddenly glad that his dad was out of town this weekend. The thought of his father seeing Dagur drive up was not a pleasant one.

Finally at about 9:15 Hiccup heard a car pull up in his driveway. He grabbed his keys and headed out the front door, making sure to lock it as he left. He turned and saw Dagur standing next to his car looking like he was straight out of a gothic vampire novel. Wearing a black leather vest that was adorned with small silver studs. Pants that were vertically striped with red and black and heavy black combat boots. He had small silver hoops in his ears and he had put his bar in, Hiccup had known that he had one but had never seen it since school dress code didn’t allow it. His usually blue face paint was a deep grey.

Hiccup walked up to him, shoving his keys into his back pocket as he went.

“Well, well, look at you. Don’t you look all sophisticated?” Dagur spat. He was eyeing Hiccup, scanning him up and down taking all of him in.

“And don’t you look positively criminal.” Hiccup retorted. “So. Are you ready to go, because I’ve been ready for almost an hour.”

Hiccup crossed around the front of the car, an old grey mustang that Dagur liked to call “the Armada”, He stood by the passenger side door and stared at Dagur raising his eyebrow. He was a little shocked at how cold his voice had sounded, and was surprised at how much it actually had hurt him that Dagur was late.

Dagur placed an arm on top of his car and said, “Ohh that hurt a little Hic. Don’t worry I was just getting some fun stuff that I had to have before I could go to a club,” as he unlocked the car. He sank into the driver’s seat and shut his door.

Hiccup pulled the car door handle and slid into the dark purple interior. “What was so necessary?” Hiccup asked as he pulled the door shut.

Dagur pointed to the cup holder as he started the car. Its engine roaring to life and within a second they had raced out of Hiccup driveway and were off, at a speed that was definitely not legal.

Hiccup scrambled to put his seat belt on and after it was finally secure he looked into the cup holders, finding two solo cups, one was almost empty the other was nearly full of some dark amber liquid.

“Don’t worry Hic. I got you one too.” Dagur giggled as he raced past a red light.

Hiccup sat there and stared at the small cup. _Oh shit. That is definitely what I think it is. He expects me to drink it, well shit. How do I tell him I don’t drink? Fuck…_

“C’mon Hiccup. It’s not all too easy to get a hold of stuff like that.” Dagur warned, and edge to his voice that revealed his slightly off personality.

Hiccup picked up the cup and stared at it. His mind raced until and settled on images of Jack. Jack telling him no, that it was a bad idea.

Hiccup felt his anger burn deep in his stomach and thought, _Bitch get out of my thoughts. You wouldn’t listen to my advice so why would I listen to yours._

Hiccup took a sip, expecting it to burn yet was only met by a tingling sensation and an incredible taste that was nothing like what other people had told him.

He took a gulp of the drink and turned to Dagur and asked, “What the hell is this. It’s fucking fantastic.”

A smug grin stretched upon Dagur’s face and he said “Thanks Hic, I made it myself.” He reached over and patted Hiccup’s thigh and left his hand there, before continuing, “It’s just some whiskey mixed with cake batter vodka and a little bit of some other special stuff that I managed to nab.”

“Well, it’s amazing.” He sat there and drank the whole cup as they sped to the club.

Hiccup was finishing up his last sips as they pulled into the parking lot. It looked like it was just some old industrial warehouse, except there were cars parked everywhere.

Hiccup couldn’t feel his feet, he was happy though. He got out of the car and grinned at Dagur who came over to him and grabbed his hand. Hiccup intertwined his fingers with Dagur’s and walked next to him. He felt a little funny, his head was light and buzzing, but he really didn’t care. His entire core felt warm and fuzzy.

Dagur walked them past the security guard, who seemed to know Dagur. Hiccup turned and waved at him as they walked up to the entrance of the club.

Walking past the check in area and getting their hands crossed with sharpie to show that they were under age they ended up in the middle of the club’s lobby. Dagur turned to Hiccup and leaned in close, so he could be heard over the music and asked, “So Hic where you wanna go. What you wanna do?”

Hiccup smiled at Dagur and pushed him away and said “Let’s dance.” He heard his words slurring together but didn’t think anything of it.

Hiccup pulled away from Dagur and pulled them into a room full of flashing lights, loud music, and throbbing bodies. Hiccup pulled Dagur into the middle of the crowd and then turned to face him. He felt hot, but it didn’t matter he was having so much fun and nothing had happened yet.

Letting the music fill his being Hiccup began to dance. Hiccup loved to dance, although he’d never admit it. He began to sway and move in sync to the beats of the music. He closed his eyes and let the music dictate where he went. He felt Dagur’s hands on his back and he sauntered closer to him.

They danced for an eternity, moving up and down, and swishing every appendage that they had. It didn’t take them long before they were able to move in sync. At some point Hiccup had turned and was facing way from Dagur. He moved his hips against Dagur’s as he want down towards the ground forcing Dagur to go with him.

Dagur’s hands were moving up and down his whole body, feeling every part of Hiccup that he could. As they danced Dagur buried his face in Hiccup’s neck and decorated it with kisses and bites.

Hiccup turned around and pushed himself against Dagur bringing their lips together in an electric moment. Pulling away Hiccup rested his forehead on Dagur’s. His breath heavy.

They continued to dance, and gyrate together. As they moved in sync Hiccup felt Dagur’s hands on his abdomen. Touching gently and pulling at his shirt. Dagur palmed the bare skin above his jeans. Hiccup felt his mind screaming at him, but he didn’t care. He enjoyed it.

He saw Jack sitting in front of him saying what he had so long ago, _Sex is something intimate. It’s not meant to be just thrown around. At least not to me. Whenever I finally do have sex, it’ll be with someone I know I love or someone who I trust completely. I don’t want to do it with a stranger._

Hiccup looked at the Jack in his mind and said _Shut the fuck up you little whore. Go away. I’ll enjoy this if I wanna._

As the mental Jack vanished Hiccup leaned back and whispered to Dagur, “You’re not touching the right place stupid,” He grabbed Dagur’s hand and placed it on his crotch, “My dick’s down there.”

He sat there at danced on Dagur as he felt his hand slip beneath his Jeans and rub along his dick. He let out a breathy moan and whispered to Dagur, “Let’s go someplace where we’ll be more alone. If I wanted to give these people a show I’d make them pay for it.”

Dagur pulled his hands away and dragged Hiccup by the hand out of the club, and into the Armada. They both slid into the back seat and became a mess of limbs and voices. Clothes were stripped off and thrown everywhere as the two felt every inch of each other’s bodies.

The heat, the movement, the noises, together created a cacophonous melody that was beautiful in its own disturbing way.

After it was over, as Hiccup lay on top of Dagur’s heaving chest feeling his whole body sing with ecstasy, Hiccup could only think one thing. As his body gave into his exhaustion one thought rang out in his mind. It cleared away all others and stood alone in Hiccup’s psyche.

_What the Hell am I doing?_

Jack walked down the halls. He hated all of it. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was yet but he knew he didn’t like it.

His therapist was terrible, that’s all that he knew. But he didn’t care enough to tell anyone else. Nobody would have listened, they would tell him he was hysterical. They would say that it didn’t matter. So why should it matter to him.

Jack scanned to halls. He knew he couldn’t talk to Hiccup, but he still liked seeing him. He walked past a knot of freshman and caught one young boy say, “…he raped that level. I mean…”

Jack felt his world shatter around him, but the pain was so normal to him that he didn’t react. He watched as the events of so long ago played on in his mind. The motions of it all, the feelings, the smells of it, the noises that they both had made. He watched as the whole event played out in his mind.

He didn’t care anymore. It stopped phasing him long ago. He’d seen it millions of times. He relived it every time he closed his eyes and every time he went to sleep. It was his constant companion. He lived with it and didn’t care about it anymore.

He was raped, and every day he watched and felt himself be raped again. It was his own little movie and experience.

All that it did anymore was bring his bile to his throat. But he was used to the taste and no longer minded it.

He continued walking down the hall, as his sick and twisted night played out around him.

Jack glanced up and saw something that sparked emotion into him again. It lit his damp soul on fire, and allowed him to feel. He saw Hiccup. Putting books back into his locker. He watched the lithe and graceful way he moved from far down the hall.

Then his glimmer of hope became a nightmare. Hiccup turned and revealed countless hickies on his neck. They went down under his shirt and sat on his collar bones. Jack stared and felt himself halt. He watched hiccup and then something new happened.

Hiccup morphed intoJack. In his sick visions that played around Jack watched as Hiccup was put through the same torture as he had been. His stomach twisted into knots. He didn’t want to see this. He didn’t want to think about Hiccup going through what happened to him.

Jack looked up and watched as his nightmare continued to unfold. Jack stopped in his tracks when Dagur came up behind Hiccup and grabbed him around the waist, burying his face in Hiccup’s colorful neckline.

A grin broke across Hiccup’s face as he turned and looked up at Dagur. He embraced the taller boy and then looked up at him.

Jack watched through the passing people as his worst dreams became a reality. Hiccup stood on his toes and pulled Dagur into a long and loving kiss. One that seemed to give Hiccup all the joy in the world.

Jack’s visions began to morph again. All happiness drained from the sight of Hiccup, and he became the dark epicenter of his despair. Jack saw Dagur on top of Hiccup, thrusting and moving into him. He watched as his terror, his one night of utter despair became Hiccups. He watched as Hiccup was raped, begging Dagur to stop. Pleading for him to go easy and to not hurt him. He watched as hiccup began to cry.

Jack looked down and tried to shake the images away. He began to walk in an attempt to outrun the pictures that filled his head.

He watched as Hiccup was hurt and abused and touched against his will. He couldn’t get the images out. He practically sprinted past the two outside Hiccup’s locker but his ears snatched up a small part of their conversation.

He heard Hiccup say, “…I love you Dag…”

Jack felt his insides heave. He watched in his mind as Dagur thrusted into Hiccup with reckless abandon. With a look of hate and an intent to hurt him. And he watched as Hiccup sat there murmuring “I love you, Dagur” to his attacker.

Jack felt his stomach roll. He knew it was coming. But he didn’t have enough time to make it to the bathroom. He vomited onto the floor of the hall, He sat there and felt his entire soul leave him. He felt his entire being be crushed and destroyed, and expelled from him.

Jack felt everything and…

then Jack felt nothing. A nothing so profound that it filled every sense that he had. He was nothing.

And Jack couldn’t think of a reason to care.

He accepted it.

Jack let go and became nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of what is already written, but have no fear Parts 5 through 11 are already planned out. I hope you guys are enjoying it so far. Sorry for the shortness of these first few chapters they will get longer here soon. Part 5 is halfway finished and will be posted soon. I'd love some feedback.


	5. Slipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Often those who are meant to hold us up, will let us go and watch us fall.

Darkness.

That’s what this room was. To Jack that’s all this room ever would be.

As the days moved on in their silent way Jack felt nothing. He was merely a void with a conscious mind. He moved from one place to the next, but he did nothing when he was there. He thought about nothing, he was nothing.

Yet in his time being nothing he was able to identify the dark epicenters of his soul. The holes in the fabric of the universe that he had slipped out of.

The first of them was that night almost two months ago. When he had done the unforgiveable and had let _her_ touch him, and liked it. At least at the time. That night, those few minutes of the day, replayed in his head constantly. There was never a time when he didn’t think about it, when he wasn’t reliving it, or another version of it.

The second was Hiccup. The boy who destroyed him. He knew that he should hate him but, Jack couldn’t feel anything towards him. Jack often saw Hiccup with Dagur and the two together had become a vortex that devoured his soul. They ripped from him what little he had left. They were his final straw and now they were his open wound that kept throbbing, except all they throbbed were waves of this nothingness that Jack was plagued with.

He didn’t mind it though.

This room was his final dark hole in time and space. It was the largest and the most profound of his dark sources of pain. Here in these four dark grey walls his agony was seated, here his fears became a reality. Here everything left in him that kept him remotely latched to this earth was taken apart and destroyed.

Here was the one place that was supposed to save him, yet all it did was cause him incredible amounts of agony.

He knew that he hated this room, yet all he could feel was… nothing.

Jack sat there and stared at the endlessly woven together staircases and bridges that hung in dark metal frames along the melancholic walls, running his fingers over the hard swirled surface of the couch. He knew that he should have hope, and he wished that the grainy material of the sofa would spark some form of emotion in him.

Yet, he couldn’t feel it and he honestly didn’t care. All that grainy yet eerily smooth surface brought him was … nothing.

His eyes drifted around, settling on the empty birdcage that hung in the corner of Dr. Pitchiner’s office. It was fascinating. A hexagonal wrought Iron cage, yet it was surprisingly intricate and ornamental. Off each of the bases’ vertices a small flared out. It looked dark and menacing, Jack imagined himself in it.

He was a white bid, with a beautiful long tail and his feathers glinting in the light like snow. He flapped around in the cage, it felt safe. Inside it he was protected and he felt happy He wanted to see the world outside so he flew against the bars of the cage. As his avian form came in contact with the bars of the cage he felt a snapshot flash through his brain. His body pushed forward, dripping and gasping.

He wanted out of the cage, he had to fly away from the images. He had to escape. He threw himself against the bars of cage and yet each time a new snapshot bloomed across his vision.

He watched his torture happen, frame by frame. He wanted out, but the images kept him in. He couldn’t escape. He perched on the bare of the cage and froze there, as the sensations washed over him anew.

Jack was ripped from his reprise inside the cage as the door of the room softly clicked open. He turn and regarded the tall, slim doctor.

Dr. Pitchiner glided into the room and he headed for his sleek black computer, the door clicking shut behind him. This man was the only one who could get Jack to feel anything anymore. He made Jack feel fear, and if mad Jack feel alive.

His voice cut through Jack’s mind, pulling him away from any thought that had hoped to have his attention. “So, back again Mr. Frost?”

Jack turned away from the doctor, and stared at the floor. His heart was racing and he didn’t know what to say, what to think, what to do. He hated it, his inability to function around Dr. Pitch. His body and mind just seemed to seize when he was in the presence of the tall, elegant man.

“As silent as ever,” Pitch snipped while clicking on his keyboard, “I see. So what new has happened in your pathetic little life, well if you can call it a life.”

Jack looked up at Pitch’s smooth face, and he began staring directly into Pitch’s gold-ringed pupils.

“He is with someone else.” Jack whispered, his thoughts racing. Images of Hiccup, Dagur, Hiccup’s hickies, Dagur forcing Hiccup to the ground, Jack’s torture becoming Hiccup’s pleasure, all flashed by in an instant.

“Who? You’re little boyfriend that hates you now. The one who was your world but now doesn’t even treat you as a roach in his world. I simply wish to be absolutely clear.” Dr. Pitchiner sneered.

The torrent of images and sensations continued to stream by. They colored every sense he had. They were superimposed on top of his vision and when he looked up at his doctor he could still see their bodies moving together in a mock of unison.

“Yes,” he breathed out.

“Oh well that’s something I though even you’d understand. People will overlook you. It’s in your nature.” Dr. Pitchiner retorted calmly.

Jack looked away from the therapist, attempting to ignore the words that he knew were coming and that he knew were true. Hoping that he could keep his fears in check.

Pitch leaned closer to jack hovering near his face, “You’re like a ghost to them. They can’t ever tell you’re there. Why should they pay attention to anyone like you? You are nothing.”

Jack felt his body shaking as he began to hug himself. He fixated his vision on the floor and watched as tears fell from his face. He heard himself breath out “No” but couldn’t remember consciously deciding to vocalize it.

“No!?” Dr. Pitchiner demanded, rising from his seat across from Jack, “Who do you think you are to tell me no. I am the psychiatrist, you are the patient. You know nothing of people, I know everything of them.” He stalked over to his computer a grimace twisting his visage into a composite image of both loathing and sheer ecstasy. “The point of the matter is that you are nothing to these people. You are insignificant, and ignored. Just as you should be. Why should anyone feel sorry for an insufferable little faggot like yourself? You let that woman touch you all over and you loved every second of it. You know you did. You agreed to it, it doesn’t make a difference if you were drunk or drugged or whatever. You wanted it and now you feel a little bad about it so you pretend to be this broken little boy. You’re not broken, get over it.”

Jack felt the sobs racking his body but he didn’t care. He couldn’t breathe. All he could see was _her_ body, and the way it moved around with him. He felt his body reacting to the memories, blood rushing to the parts of him that he wished no longer existed. He felt his body heave and rebel against the images but they wouldn’t disappear. They were always there. Jack could no longer see, his tears were too thick. He jumped up from the couch, but couldn’t support himself and collapsed to the ground, heaving and retching as he attempted to purge the images form his body.

Pitch let out a cough of disgust as he stood from behind his desk, “Jack, I’m afraid our time here is up. I’ll see you in a few days. I can’t have you holding up my appointments. Now run along.” He gestured to the door.

Jack crawled to his feet and shambled out the door as quickly as he could. As the door clicked shut behind him he leaned against the hallway and collapsed to the ground.

He couldn’t do it any longer. He couldn’t fight them. They were just too strong. Jack removed all the barriers in his mind and let the images of _her_ and the time they had together consume him utterly. Yet, all Jack could feel was…

Nothing.

There was something about the sensation that brought the world into clarity.

Hiccup could feel everything.

He felt the cold tiles of the school’s locker room shower digging into his shoulder blades. He felt the warm mist the shower was causing and felt as the droplets raced down him, like strikes of lighting on his oversensitive skin. He felt his nails digging into the tense shoulders in front of him, and he felt the wet hair as he ran his fingers through it. He felt the teeth as they clamped down on his shoulder and elicit a pleasure soaked moan from his lips. He felt as the hipbones between his thighs moved with the rhythm of it all. He felt Dagur’s hand on his lower back supporting his weight.

He felt his body get closer and closer to the edge as Dagur moved. Every sensation was like lightning and every brush of air was like a kiss. He couldn’t contain it any longer he leaned his head back and moaned, loudly.

 _Thank Odin_ Hiccup thought _that we’re the only two left in the building. This would be so embarrassing if someone walked in._

He felt his abdomen tense and he tried to delay the inevitable. He clung tightly to Dagur, burying his face into Dagur’s shoulder as he tried to calm his body. It was of no use. His ecstasy tore through him like lightning as he rode out the sensation. He could feel the tightness in Dagur’s chest and knew he was close too.

Hiccup played Dagur’s favorite trick and gently ran his fingers down his back. Dagur grunted and moaned as his own ecstasy overtook him. He shuddered to a halt and held Hiccup for a minute as they both caught their breath.

Hiccup pulled Dagur down for a sloppy kiss hoping to elongate the moment.

Dagur backed away from Hiccup, who was using the wall to steady himself.

“Thanks for that babe.” Dagur said as he pulled Hiccup into a backwards embrace under the shower head with him.

“Oh it was no problem.” Hiccup replied, tilting his head back to see his taller boyfriend, “I knew my man would be tired after practice today and could use a little pick me up.”

“You know me so well,” Dagur mumbled as he buried his head into the crook of Hiccup’s neck and began to kiss the trail hickies that Dagur had created all over his delicate skin.

They both washed up. Taking longer than necessary on the account of all the random and spontaneous fondles and pinches that both Hiccup and Dagur were the source.

Hiccup handed Dagur the soap and had him wash his back. As Dagur rubbed him, slowly and methodically, with practiced hands he asked, “So what are we going to do when we finally get out of the shower and don our cloths?”

Hiccup pondered the question as he enjoyed the feeling of having his boyfriend rub his back.

“Well we could go watch movies at my place.” Hiccup answered

“We could.”

“Or, we could go for a romantic candlelit dinner.”

“That is an option as well”

“But what I want to do is go back to my place and crack open my Dad’s liquor cabinet. He’s on a business trip so he won’t mind.”

Hiccup spun around and wove his hands behind Dagur’s head. Dagur leaned down and touched his forehead to Hiccup’s and whispered, “I think that sounds like a grand idea my little Hiccup.”

“Well then I think we better get out of this shower,” Hiccup retorted, before pulling Dagur down into a long and passionate kiss.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to leave quite yet.” Dagur said when Hiccup finally let him breath. They pulled together again for another kiss. One just as passionate and deep but softer and quieter, like the warm mist that swirled around them, and like the warm fuzz that settled into their heads as the night progressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still enjoying this. I love writing it. This fic is about to get real real heavy and real REAL dark so if that's going to bother you please stop reading now. As always I love kudos and I would die for some comments, so if your reading and you have a question or a thought shoot it my way. Also if anybody wants to see more of my stuff, not much more, my tumblr is: jamesancalime.tumblr.com  
> HAVE FUN READING!


	6. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are made and they bond people together, yet a promise to oneself can break promises to others. Slowly withering away any bonds that they could contain.

“You’re a complete and _total_ ASS Hic.”

Hiccup rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh of exasperation. Hitching his bag up onto his shoulders he attempted to pass between Astrid and the bank of lockers she had finally managed to corner him on. Silently hiccup scolded her with his thoughts, _I’m the ass! Oh, sorry I got a boyfriend. At least I attempted to still be cordial with you but NO, you don’t approve of him so you can’t approve of me!_

A metallic bang resounded as Astrid slammed her hand in the locker in front of him, effectively halting Hiccup’s escape. Hiccup dropped his shoulders ad pursed his lips as he turned to Astrid and said, “Move, I won’t be late because of you.”

“Mrs. Cowell has a sub today, I checked, you won’t miss anything,” Astrid retorted bluntly. Her voice had a faint, yet incredibly keen, edge to it, as if she was controlling a very powerful and dangerous amount of anger.

Shrugging his bag of his shoulder dropping it on the floor, “Oh sure. Fine! What can I do for you, oh great Astrid?” Hiccup asked, splaying his hands and bending slightly at his waist in an imitation of a bow.

Astrid grabbed his left hand and bent it backwards, hard, eliciting a pained yelp from Hiccup, “That’s for the hypocrisy.” Holding his hand in her right hand she used her left to punch Hiccup in the stomach, “That’s for being a dumbass.” Then pulling Hiccup up and over her shoulders and flipping him over his head, throwing him onto the ground. Hiccup made contact with the tile and caused a deep thud, knocking all the air out of his lungs. Gasping, Hiccup attempted to sit up, but Astrid placed her boot on his chest and said, “And that was for everything else.”

She backed away from his as he struggled to a seated position, heaving, and stuttered, “Wha…what the fu…fuck, Ass… strid!”

“You know what you did, and you know you deserved that.” She retorted, crossing her arms and tensing her shoulders.

Using the nearby lockers to support himself, Hiccup stumbled to his feet. Leaning heavily against the locker he yelled, “NO I DON’T! Why the fuck did you do that Astrid? Really, I’m actually quite confused here.”

“You’re dating _Dagur_!”

“Yes, and…?”

“Well, yo-“

“Well _nothing_. You have no right to but up in my life and attack me because you don’t agree with my choices. I wanted to date him, now I am. End of Story. YOU are NOT involved.”

“Why the hell would you want to date that deranged asshole?!”

“Because I do! That’s all you need to know.”

“Hiccup,” Astrid sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“What,” Hiccup sassed, “Is that not enough for you? Do you some more details? Fine! One; he’s actually really sweet when you get to know him and don’t judge him from afar like a bitch. Two; he goes out on really fun dates with me. Three; he can mix drinks like a fucking god. And four; He has a dick the size of my forearm and he knows _exactly_ how to use it!”

“Astrid covered her gaping mouth with her hand as both shock and pain raced through her eyes. “Hiccup,” she breathed as she lowered her hand, “has he been making you go drinking with him?” her voice and face oozed concern and love but barely masked the shock underneath it.

Hiccup crossed his arms and turned away from her. “It’s none of your business, but no, he hasn’t been making me I do it because I want to, so what?”

“Hiccup!” Astrid whined, her voice quivering, “have you honestly forgotten?” She grabbed a small bracelet she had on her wrist and ripped it off. Holding the metal plate up so she could see it, “Do you remember why we made these, why were wear them? Do really think that this is … No! I know you don’t!” She brandished the small metal plate at as tears began to stream down her face. “How do you think _she’d_ feel about your behavior, Huh?”

Hiccup swallowed the knot that was forming in his throat, and held back his own tears, “Leave my mother out of this Astrid,” he puffed as a plate bearing the same engraving grew hot and heavy against the neck.

“I know you still have yours. I can see the damn things chain on your neck right now. I know you remember!” She said, her voice betraying her frustration and anger.

“Astrid, I said leaver her out of this!”

“We swore Hiccup, YOU swore. I did it with you, so you wouldn’t have to be alone!”

“I didn’t ask for that, it was forever ago anyway!”

“And she didn’t ask that drunk driver to knock her car of the side of that mother fucking bridge did she? She didn’t ask to die Hiccup!”

“LEAVE IT ALONE!” Hiccup yelled, finally unable to hold back his tears.

“Fine! I will. Here, have this.” She said, her voice icily calm as she flung her bracelet with Valka’s promise on it at Hiccup. “If you aren’t going to respect her memory, then why should I?”

The small metal bracelet hit the ground with a slight tinkling, breaking a few of the glass beads on the chain.

Astrid turned away from Hiccup and began to stalk away. Her whole body rigid from her anger. She stopped and turned, facing Hiccup before commenting, “I always admired you, because you loved her, even though she left you here alone. I was wrong. I see that now. She was just a way for you to get pity and comfort from people who were too stupid to see through the lies you told.”

Turning she walked away, with an evident calmness in her body that could only be achieved when she was completely and absolutely livid.

Hiccup sat there, his hand holding his cheese were beneath his shirt his own version of the charm rested against his chest. Hiccup blinked away the tears and read the Nordic inscription on Astrid’s Charm, one that was mirrored on his pendant.

~ _She had the soul of a Dragon. Now she has been set free._ ~

Hiccup felt anger and hate bloom inside his chest as he tried to see through the tears coating his eyes. Blindly he grabbed Astrid’s bracelet off the floor and threw it as far as he could, gripping the sides of his head as he let out a wail that was more anger than sorrow.

The weight around his neck continued to increase as Hiccup sat their trying to get the age old images of his mother’s funeral out of his head. With each passing second the metal and etched glass pendent he clutched in his hand grew hotter, burning its runed message into Hiccup’s soul.

Hiccup looked up and gasped, trying to calm himself. He felt like he was drowning. He felt himself living through the death his mother had endured. In his mind’s eye he saw Jack in front of him reaching out to him, like he had when Hiccup had told him about his mother. Echoing through his psyche he heard Jack say “Everybody makes mistakes, your mother would understand. Come on…”

“GET OUT BITCH!” Hiccup yelled, clenching his eyes shut, and covered his ears. Hiccup felt like he had been poisoned, his whole body seemed to be rejecting him. Pain and a crippling heaviness pulsed out of the miniscule pendant like it was the singularity of his own personal black hole that was destroying him.

Jack’s voice echoed throughout his mind again, “Hiccup, come on it’ll be okay.” His voice was full of sympathy and concern. _He Pities me_ Hiccup thought.

Hiccup clenched the small engraved pendant in his fist, bolts of pain shot through his hand to the rest of his body, while the pendant caused waves of a crushing heaviness rolling through him. Jack’s voiced reverberated through him, sending shivers through his spine as he said “Hiccup, that’s a memory of your mother…”

 _SHUT UP_ Hiccup screamed with his mind, and tugging on the neckless, _I don’t need her, She’s past just like you._ With a yank the chain broke and the neckless was thrown far down the hallway.

Hiccup’s mind was silent, except for his frantic breathing and the final eddies of pain washing over him. He stood up, using the bank of lockers as a crutch and winced, he didn’t remember sitting down and his entire body was sore. He felt like he had been ran over. He was drenched in cold sweat and his body was shaking violently.

 _I want to forget this, I want to forget today_ Hiccup thought.

“Dagur” Hiccup muttered, not meaning to vocalize his thought. He looked at the clock and that there were still thirty minutes before lunch break began. Dagur had a physical education course right now so Hiccup stumblingly made his way towards the gym.

Sneaking into the gym through a side door, Hiccup passed behind the bleachers so he wouldn’t be caught skipping class. He was still sore and incredibly tense, and he shambled into some of the support beams beneath the bleachers. Hiccup came up behind where Dagur and his friends were sitting on the stands and froze. Dagur had just said his name, but he wasn’t addressing Hiccup.

“…You wouldn’t really expect it,” Dagur smirked, “but my little Hiccup know how to take a pounding. If you know what I mean.” A faint thud resounded and Dagur punched his friend and they all laughed.

Hiccup’s ears were ringing, and he missed whatever it was that Dagur’s friend asked, but Dagur responded, “Yeah he can take _me_ balls deep in both ends. You know how _big_ of a feat that is,” Dagur chuckled slapping his friend on the arm, “Shit he’s annoying but that tight little hole of his is worth it. Hell, he let me fuck him in the showers in the locker room last week, he’s one kinky little whore.” Dagur and his friends broke out in a raucous laugh.

Hiccup was gone before the laughter ended, his body trembling with waves of pain and a crushing loneliness. Hiccup stood by the door as the bell rang, using the door’s frame to support himself.

Hiccup waited there, in a state of shock and pain, dreaming of a way to forget everything that had happened that day. Dagur grabbed his bags and sauntered to the exit, noticing Hiccup as he approached. Sauntering up to him, Dagur pressed a kiss on his lips as they stood there.

Dagur’s face was as proud and striking as ever. He smirked as he asked, “What are you doing here babe?” Pulling Hiccup into him, and squeezing his ass as he did so.

Hiccup shivered into Dagur’s chest as he said, “I’ve had a really bad day. I want to get out of here. I just want this day to end.”

“Well, what did you have in mind?” Dagur asked sensually, sticking his hands down the back of Hiccup’s pants and roughly caressing his ass.

Hiccup placed a hand on Dagur’s chest and pushed him back a little. He looked up at Dagur’s face and knew exactly what would help him forget the entire day. Help him to forget who he was, and forget the ghosts that still clung to him desperately.

“Let’s go, I want to forget today ever happened. I want to never remember today. Please Dagur, get as drunk as you possibly can.”

A grin spread across Dagur’s face as he said, “I can do that.”

_You wanted it and now you feel a little bad about it so you pretend to be this broken little boy. You’re not broken…_

_Flashes of light, and booms of sound. Smells and sensations curling and rolling through the air. The smell of alcohol and sweat, and the throbbing of the air as the bodies moved around in the room._

_Walking through the crowd he felt happy, everyone was enjoying themselves and this party was a success. He was happy that everything happened and he managed to get here. He wished Hiccup could have come, but he knew exactly why Hiccup wouldn’t have wanted to come. This much alcohol would have upset him, he hated it when people drank anything. The way his mother had passed made him distrust the liquid, and Jack respected him for it._

_Jack had no problem drinking, but he always did it in moderation. He’d already had a few, but he was out for the night and wasn’t going to risk getting drunk and letting Hiccup find out._

_A dude passed by handing people condoms and tried to give Jack one, but Jack passed. He didn’t need one if he knew he wasn’t’ about to be having any sex while he was here._

_A flash of light, and a wave of pain reverberated through the room, freezing Jack in his place. The lights dimmed and the sounds faded. The smells in the air changed and the air felt stagnant and stiff._

_Jack felt vomit roll through his body and waves of nausea roll through him. The first thing that caught his attention was the noise. A faint slapping, and a heaviness of breathing and small moans. Jack’s body went rigid and his heart began to race._

_He knew what was behind him but he couldn’t bear to turn around, he refused to see it again._

_Jack crumpled to his knees, pain rolling through him and a crumbling sense of lowliness. He felt like his soul was fleeing his body and he felt absolutely nothing._

_The shadows around him began to swirl and move. They congregated and formed a slender man whose face was Jack’s embodiment of absolute fear. His voice resonated throughout the void that Jack floated in, “You are insignificant, and ignored. Just as you should be. They sit there behind you and you can’t bear to look. You know what’s happening and you loved it.”_

_“Aaaaahhh… ah- sto-stop!” A voice behind him said. A voice that was sweet and innocent and one Jack knew well. Pain and hate pulsed from his heart as he whirled to see who he knew was there._

_Hiccup lay on a bed, slightly scuffed and dirty. A look of fear and pain frozen on his face. As a figure approached him. Dagur pushed him down to the bed and straddled Hiccup._

_Jack looked away, as he heard it begin to move forward. Hiccup protesting and Dagur forcing himself onto him. Hiccup making noises pain and protest, as the all too familiar sounds filled Jack’s head blocking out everything else around him._

_The darkness around him held him in place and refused to let him flee. It pushed his head to face the gory and disgusting spectacle, and refused to let him look away._

_“Come now Jack,” the darkness said, in the voice of his fear “You know you like it. Watch, this show is for you.”_

_The darkness forced his eyes open and forced him to watch as Dagur forced himself onto Hiccup and Hiccup screamed and attempted to get away, but the same darkness that held Jack in place held him still as well._

_Jack tried to stop everything to block out the horror that was unfolding before him and the pain and the memories that were pulsing through his body. His body began to respond and he hated every second of it._

_“You see,” the darkness jeered “I knew you wanted it. I knew you’d enjoy it.” The darkness began to caress him everywhere, and Jack fought but he couldn’t escape. The only thing he could do was scream._

“ **AAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh!** ” Jack screamed and he bolted straight up in his bed. A cold sweat all over his body. _It was only a dream, don’t worry Jack, just a nightmare_.

Jack got out of bed and went in to the bathroom connected to his room splashing his face with water as he attempted to wash the horrors he had just see out of his mind.

He began to replay what he had seen, Hiccup and Dagur reliving the torture he had endured. Blood began to rush to his face and to other parts of his body.

He felt odd. Usually dreams and anything that remotely connoted his plight terrorized him and haunted him. Jack felt better, like he was enjoying it.

He didn’t quite understand how or why but instead of feeling nothing, he finally felt something. Hiccup and Dagur reliving his pain made him feel …

Well, they made him feel happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys really quick what Hiccup experiences in the first half of the chapter is a panic attack, hopefully that clarifies it. I really do hope you liked it and please give me feedback, I love to hear from you guys so give me some support. Also if you have any ideas tell me. Thanks again, hopefully I'll update soon.


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